Evidence Suggests Mary Used Magi’s Gold To Get Little Drummer Boy To Stop Playing
BETHLEHEM, ISRAEL—A recent discovery at an archeological site in Bethlehem is adding a new wrinkle to the Christmas story. Researchers have found part of a document that suggests Mary used some of the gold gifted by the wise men to pay the little drummer boy to leave.
“It’s a fascinating discovery,” said site leader Dr. Michael Roydelnik. “And it’s totally understandable. A sleep-deprived young mother would go to any means necessary to get that pa-rumpa pum pum to stop. I’m surprised she didn’t give him all of it.”
According to the document, Mary paid the kid off and told him to go play for some shepherds outside of town.
“Since it’s only a partial document, we don’t know the full story,” said Roydelnik. “But we’re fairly certain that what we do have is authentic. The text and material line up with first-century writing, and it just makes sense that with a new baby, they’d want to get rid of some kid banging on a drum.”
The archeologists are hopeful that they’ll find more information on how the boy used the gold, but for now, they speculate he used the money to buy a new drum set and a Phil Collins poster.
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